Category Archives: Idiots

Mall Ninja

Scott A. Smith, 37, of North Ridgeville allegedly packed a bag with a loaded 9-millimeter Glock, extra ammunition clips and four knives for his trip to the movie theater, according to


Smith was going to see Dark Knight Rises of course. Apparently a security guard became suspicious because of the bag and the position he chose to sit in at the theater. He arrived early and sat at the top with his back near the wall.  I do not grok this man nor the police spokesman.

The Bag. Why did he need a bag to carry his one gun, some magazines and a few knives? I can, and do, regularly carry a Glock 17, two extra magazines, and a couple of knives underneath (and sometimes in) a 5.11 dress shirt. Just for fun one day, I decided to see just how much I could carry and go out to dinner without any of it showing. Thanks to a shirt like this one along with my normal hip holster and appendix carry, the total was 4 handguns and 6 knives. We went out to dinner and no one but my wife knew what a nutjob I am. That was very uncomfortable and if there was a fight, it better have involved guns, because there was no way I could have moved enough for a fist fight. It was ridiculous, but possible to carry that load in public. He took a bag instead and for that reason I’m going to call this one: Mall Ninja.

The Position. He arrived early, drawing attention to himself anyway, and took a seat in the back of the theater with his back against the wall. Really I’m Ok with this. It doesn’t say, but he should have worried less about the wall and more about the emergency exit. I would sit near the exit I thought least likely to be stampeded by the crowd when the fecal matter hit the  oscillator.

The Police. Quotes by Westlake Police Lt. Ray Arcuri about Mr. Smith:

“What concerns us is where he was sitting in the theater,” Arcuri was quoted as saying. “If he chose to do something there, all his potential victims were in front of him and he had an advantage over them.”

Arcuri added: “When you consider the movie he was going to and what happened in Colorado, you have to wonder what would make him want to bring the weapons into that particular film. Our police officer did a great job spotting him.”

If I wanted to defend myself from any particular kind of emergency, I would definitely try to position myself where I had the advantage. It doesn’t matter if it is a crazed bad guy at the door, a wildfire, or a baby with explosive diarrhea. Position yourself so you get the least amount of icky stuff on you, that’s my philosophy. But yes, officer Arcuri, why would someone, in light of what happened in Colorado, want to bring weapons into that particular film? Gosh, I just can’t imagine. It totally escapes me. I’m trying to picture it.. nope nothing. I assume you took yours off a left it at home before going to the theater that day. For the children.

The why. This is the biggest reason I do not grok. I went to see Dark Knight Rises. It was awesome by the way. I have no idea how Christopher Nolan managed to produce three kick-ass Batman movies in a row without someone along the way (most likely Christian Bale or network execs) screwing it all up.  I think I’ve told this story before, but its a good one. I was going to buy a used gun from a guy I didn’t know at a truck stop next to the interstate. So I did what anyone should do in that situation, I took a friend. I also took my Glock which I take most days anyway. When I went to pick up my friend he was trying to decide if he should carry his pistol (No, I don’t understand that either). He asked me, “Are you expecting trouble?” I replied, “No, if I were expecting trouble I wouldn’t go.”  The Dark Knight Rises was awesome, and I’m glad I went to see it. But I could have waited until it came out on video. I have a huge-ass TV and surround sound. Would have been almost as good. If I thought what happened in Colorado was likely to happen at my theater I wouldn’t go. This guy was so convinced it was likely that he made preps for it in addition to whatever he normally does. If you find yourself doing that. Don’t go.


The rumored Walther PPK revolver spotted in the wild.


Via Washington Rebel

99% of what?

The funniest thing about these rubes is there wasn’t enough of them there to fill a single check out line. Some 99%.

NPR Executives Caught On Video

“The current Republican Party, particularly the Tea Party, is fanatically involved in people’s personal lives and very fundamental Christian – I wouldn’t even call it Christian. It’s this weird evangelical kind of move,” declared Schiller, who runs NPR’s foundation.

via  The Daily Caller


Read the whole thing, watch the video. Yes, there is video.

Time Management

When trying to come up with a TODO list, it is important to have a way to prioritize tasks so you know what to work on first and what can wait until like, next Sunday. This matrix may help. Tasks that are Urgent and Important need to be done now. Tasks that are not urgent and unimportant can wait until next Sunday or whenever your wife’s relatives are visiting.

Ideally you want tasks to appear in quadrant 2. That way you are only working on things that are important, but you get to decide when to work on them. Unfortunately life isn’t always like that, events come up and and your priorities have to shift. Such as when this happens:

and some dude punches a 5’1″ girl holding a video camera. Kicking his ass instantly jumps ahead of all other tasks in my ToDo list to as both Urgent and Important. I’m unimpressed with “I have a masters degree” conservative wussy with his “whoa, whoa” comments. As soon as goon touches that girl he should have taken action. If you’ve been in my Krav classes this week the combination we have been working would have been perfect: Jab, cross, lead elbow, rear elbow, hammer-fist and a knee to the cobblers for good measure.

I’m glad to read that Ms. Hale is Ok.

Recognizing when it is time to kick someone’s ass is actually pretty difficult for nice guys to do. You’re going to have to spend some time outside of the dojo and gun range thinking about the situations that you would take action in. A girl getting punched by a guy for holding a video camera is a no-brainer.

You decide

The guys with the beer and .357 revolver in this picture are:

A) Average NRA members

B) Racist Tea-Partiers

C) Rednecks

D) Police officers; the guys who are more responsible and trusted that you and me so that they can legally carry firearms any where they want; the guys you tell your kids to find if they are lost; the guys you call when your husband is beating you; the guys you expect to come ‘save’ you during a campus shooting…


I have friends that are police officers. They are upstanding guys, good guys. They would be appalled at this picture. I am sure it is not indicative of all cops. Click the picture and read about more cops who have no business in that business. As I have slowly, albeit painfully, lost my optimism the past few years, one thing I have learned is that if you put people up on a pedestal they will inevitably disappoint. Why? Because contrary to your internal monologue they really aren’t perfect. They are flawed human beings just like you and me. They are sometimes brave and honorable and sometimes base sinners; and that goes double for the people you think of as successful. Yes, they are obviously doing some things right, but they are flawed just like you.

Next time you hear that only police and military should be trusted with firearms think of this post. Those people you think are trustworthy are in reality just like you. They are not superhuman. They are men and women; human beings who suffer the same desires, motivations, strengths and weaknesses as you do. Sure, you might not ever get drunk and point a .357 revolver at your friends head with your finger on the trigger…

h/t War On Guns


NOTE: Because the original video was removed from YouTube and the version I reposted was one of the first up on YouTube, some have attributed the video to me. I wish I had created the video, but I absolutely did not. I believe the creator of the video was Newswatcher89.

A death-hippy, @redheadonfire2, on twitter posted a threat against Sarah Palin and now wants a ‘rewind’ button. Good luck with that. Because I’m awesome at the Internet, I had already downloaded the YouTube video edited it to have an appropriate soundtrack and re-posted it.

Here is death-hippy Lauren B’s twitter profile:


And what is it that she said on a public forum that now she wants to rewind?

"I think Sarah Palin should get shot instead of Gifford!!!"

I think maybe Lauren B. didn’t realize that the Internet is a no-take-backs zone; she’s only 21 after all.You can’t “follow her tweets” any more because Lauren found out that Twitter isn’t a megaphone, but more like a street corner and apparently some people expressed a negative opinion of her violent rhetoric. Her tweets are now private. So sad.

I wish Lauren a long life. And I hope that she gets past this to have a happy life. But any time I hear about the violent rhetoric coming from the extreme right-wing, we’re going to recall Lauren B. redheadonfire2’s actual violent rhetoric just so we know what real violent retoric sounds like.

Here is the video:

UPDATE: This may be the greatest day in my blog life. My video has been linked to from Patterico and I have been aptly called a “smartass”.  I’m not just a smartass though, I have a contrary spirit too.

How to get shot without really trying

If you’d like to learn about gun grappling. I recommend Master Jeff Wade. He can teach you things like:

  • How to get shot in the groin or leg; and
  • How to pack the slide; and
  • How to rack the action.

He also knows how to booby trap pistols. This guy is ninja.